Yet Another New Product Launch

[IanG-UK]

OK, so Devialet may have the Expert 1000 Pro after six years ... 

After six seconds of groundbreaking research, our sister company, Put-It-Away, is pleased to announce its first product, the Put-It-Away Idiot 0 Amateur, another Ultimate Audiophile System.

Featuring a unique 0W per channel, the performance delivered by the Idiot Amateur is unique at all power levels:

• over 100% THD plus noise (a world first)
  

• a noise to signal ratio of 133 dB (a world first)
  

• 0 patents
  

• 0 awards
  

Featuring MAD (maybe analogue or digital) amplification, the Idiot Amateur system is an engineering gem.

Learning from our parent company’s experience that the best cable is no cable, we are introducing a new variant called WATER - What A Terribly Excrutiating Result. This is based on our literally groundbreaking work that water and mains electricity do not mix, and we know it will give you the best experience of your life.

The unit will feature a bottom plate in solid plastic (to keep all the crap inside the box) and each plate will be personally scratched by the designer.

We are currently working on a new feature, SPAM, though we don’t even know what the acronym stands for at the moment. This will be available at some point, if any of you survive WATER.

Idiot Amateur - yet another one of the world’s best performances.

[petersv]

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Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[JohnWyatt34]

Lol, that's funny 

[ogs]

Lol!

I assume we're taken directly to the first upgrade then? After we have paid of course, but before delivery. Good to pay more! SPAM v2 should be even better than SPAM!

[Antoine]

[hk6230]

LOL! DC has many comedians. And, they are all good!

[Silvertouran]

Will it work better with Volvic WATER or Perrier WATER?

[Confused]

Worried about Ian's new product post and all this talk of upgrades, I thought I would visit my dealer and get some facts.

One good thing, my dealer appeared very well informed, he had all the details, all the facts and figures, most excellent!  However, I did have a massive problem with what the facts actually are.

First he confirmed that there is indeed a new model, it has the same model designation as mine, but is significantly upgraded.  But there is no upgrade scheme.  It is simply a case of retuning mine as a 'part exchange' based on 'market value', whatever that is.  Although there would be a discount on the new model.  So far so good.

Things then went quite badly....   Apparently mine is worth less than 20% of it's new value!  20%!!!!  That is 80% of it's value gone.    It gets worse!  Apparently the new model has two less cylinders than mine, two less!  Oh the dealer had all the lines, it is more efficient, it has more power, something about EU emissions, but who wants less from an upgrade, a full two less!!!

It gets worse....  Mine has a clutch, the new one does not, not even as an option.  He said some rubbish about DSG (damn TLA's!!!) and said it could be considered manual.  But not for me!  I like clutches!  Why can't I have a clutch!  I want a clutch!!!  Then dealer bod mumbled something about only 18 'manuals' of this model being sold in the UK, he then had the damn bloody cheek to suggest my perfectly functioning, and it would seem very rare, model was worth less BECAUSE it has a clutch.   WTF!!!!   Don't these @@@@@'s listen to what their customers want, or what I want at least.

There was a brief moment of hope, dealer bod could see my rage, he said It wasn't his fault, it was the manufacturer's policy, but yes, I could actually have a clutch if I really wanted one.  OK, great!  But NO!!!!!  How do I get the clutch feature that I must have?  Get this!  It's by 'upgrading' to a lesser model.  WTF????  'Upgrade' to a lower model? OK, so would this save me some cash?  Maybe a bit of money back my way?  Oh no!  The lesser model which dealer man says would suit me fine, with it's smaller size, less space, not enough cylinders, does NOT save me cash.  In fact he quoted a price that actually made me wet myself!!!!  It was ##### £thousands and thousands, I mean serious cash, for a worse model with less cylinders.    Not my fault says dealer man, blame the manufacturer.  Ha!  Then there is the iDriive software, this is still ###### rubbish!!  What is wrong with them!   OK, it is a good product but the software sucks big time, why don't they employ some decent software engineers????

My goodness I'm angry with all this.  Apparently it's the manufactures fault with their less cylinders EU emissions no clutch rubbish software BS.   Bunch of Bavarian Bratwurst munching Lederhosen wearing world cup winning #####'s.

I've had it with them!  I'm off.  They are not getting another penny of my money!  I'll spend my money on something French instead, maybe an amplifier.  At least the French have fine food, the world's greatest wine, culture, a big tower thing like Blackpool, oh I could go on.     Oh yes, another thing, Lampard's strike was a foot over the line in the 2010 world cup, and Theresa May is better looking than Angela Merkel.    I need to stop typing, those Bavarian types have made me so cross!!!!

[IanG-UK]

There is no truth in the rumour that Confused and I are auditioning for StarsInMyEyes. We are targeting Couples Come Dine With Me.

[Pim]

Something in the UK water guys? Mad cow decease all over again?